Monday, November 17, 2008

The problem with plan making!

Do you know what the problem is with plan making? It's too much pressure! It's like when I actually plan things, even if it's just the day before, I always, without fail, DON'T do what I set out to do, and end up doing something completely different. Like today for example. I had plans, I did. I was going to send a parcel, do some studying, pop to see someone I hadn't seen for ages, organise my clothes and get a bag ready to donate to the Red Cross, go to the Chemist. And what did I actually do? Loads of stuff, loads of things I've needed to do for a while in fact... just none of what I had planned to do! So at the end of the day when I look back, I can't think, wow, look what I've achieved today, instead I think, why didn't I do the things I had planned to do and then I just feel bad about it. Of course my mistake is making the plan in the first place... the plan, as a concept, is a jinx! It's like a taunt, in fact. It's like I set myself up to fail because I know deep down I don't want to do all these things that day, so I set myself the task to do it, and then spend a day dreaming up so many things I could be doing instead... why is that? I am wondering if it's my creative, instinctual personality that has this flighty go with the wind attitude that makes me so anti-structure and anti-schedule about everything... or is that just an excuse for a lack of discipline? Maybe I need to scrap the plan-making altogether OR find a new system whereby I spread out the tedious tasks over the week and allow for my flighty nature to handle other tasks in between when the fancy takes me. Or maybe I should just shut up, write everything down on the wall that I need to do that day and tick the damn things off!! Hm, sounds like a plan!!

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